Emotional Unintelligence

Chris Armijo sent us an article in our google group, titled "11 Signs You Lack Emotional Intelligence." The author is Travis Bradbury who is an Entrepreneur. He talks about how emotional intelligence shocked people when it was shown as the reason that people with average IQ's can perform better than people with high IQ's. He examined data and came up with these 11 signs that show you lack emotional intelligence:
1. You get stressed easily
2. You have difficulty asserting yourself
3. You have a limited emotional vocabulary
4. You make assumptions quickly and defend them vehemently
5. You hold grudges
6. You don't let go of mistakes
7. You often feel misunderstood
8. You don't know your triggers
9. You don't get angry
10. You blame other people for how they make you feel
11. You're easily offended
We've talked a lot about the qualities of emotional intelligence but not as much about emotional unintelligence. First, I just read the list not his descriptions, and one of the first things that really stuck out to me was #9: You don't get angry. I had actually been thinking about this after our class discussion. I had gotten angry with someone and was not acting as friendly as usual which made me feel a little guilty. This was the same day as the EI presentation so it really got me thinking. Bradbury says under this "Emotional intelligence is not about being nice; it’s about managing your emotions to achieve the best possible outcomes. Sometimes this means showing people that you’re upset, sad or frustrated. Constantly masking your emotions with happiness and positivity isn’t genuine or productive." Some of my top values are honesty and integrity but I never really thought about emotional honesty and integrity.
#6: You don't let go of mistakes. This is something I have been working on for a long time. It mostly affected me in sports, especially when I got to the higher levels. My freshman year I played Division I Lacrosse and was extremely hard on myself my first semester in this new environment. It was really hard going from the New Hampshire high school level and trying to transition into the mentality of Division I. I was focused on the mistakes I was making instead of my progress which only made me perform worse. My second semester I made a big change and really tried to work on my mentality which was when I finally starting to produce. I haven't faced this challenge yet professionally but I tend not to be too hard on myself academically when I make mistakes. I know I still have a lot to learn in the health care field and am nowhere near close (hopefully) to my potential. This will be extremely important to remember this summer being an intern. I am sure that I will make plenty of mistakes but moving past them and working to correct them is really what is important.
Luckily, Bradbury says that emotional intelligence is possible to work on. He says that you can train your brain to practice emotionally intelligent behaviors. I feel there are probably some behaviors that are easier to influence than others. For instance, I think it would be much easier to figure out your triggers or work on your emotional vocabulary compared to working on not getting stressed easily or working on being more assertive. These may be harder because assertiveness and stress level are also more closely linked with personality.
This article was particularly helpful because it took a different approach than I had seen before in previous research. It really got me thinking about the many different components that encompass emotional intelligence. I read this list to both of my roommates and they both knew emotional intelligence was something they could work on. I'm glad the article concluded that it is a skill that can be improved. We discussed this in class and didn't come out with a clear answer of if it could be changed or not. Emotional intelligence is absolutely a key skill to have in a professional work environment and something I hope to continue working on